There’s a great article in today’s Times (”Don’t Point That Menu at My Child, Please“) about one of my biggest pet peeves: kids’ menus at restaurants. As a (slightly obsessive) parent trying to instill in my kids a love for good food — real food — kids’ menus make my job harder. Much harder.
Marion Nestle, who gives a separate quote in the article, is unequivocal about what kids should be eating (this via her great book, What to Eat):
Children are supposed to eat the same foods their parents eat. Dietary recommendations…apply to everyone over the age of two. Once children are past infancy and can chew and swallow foods without choking, they should be eating the same healthy foods that everyone else in the family is eating…
She also notes that the diets of up to 80% of today’s young children are considered “poor” or “in need of improvement.” It’s not surprising. What do we think of as “kid” foods? Mac and cheese. Chicken fingers. Grilled cheese. French fries. Cheeseburgers. Fish sticks. Almost all heavily-processed, with extremely limited nutritional value. If eaten only occasionally, maybe it wouldn’t matter. However, with 30% of American meals eaten outside the home, these items can form a huge percentage of a child’s diet. (and, thanks to “advances” like Kid Cusine dinners, more of this stuff is being consumed in the home).
I agree with the author of the Times article, when she says that while the children’s menu has depressing nutritional implications, she’s even “more rankled by its palate-deadening potential.”
Now let there be no doubt: my problem with kids’ menus is my own weakness. I hate to argue with my kids about food…especially when we’re dining out. I know. I know. It’s my job. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to argue. I don’t feel like that’s a healthy way to instill good food values, either. So, when the waitress hands my kid a colorful menu that features french fries, chicken nuggets, and more fries, my normal response is to grimmace, while silently fuming.
And, of course, to avoid that restaurant whenever I can.
Think you’re okay because you don’t visit the Golden Arches? Alas. Kids’ menus in sit-down restaurants may be no better than in fast-food joints.
I don’t want to be preachy about what you should do, so I’ll close with a little more Nestle:
It is perfectly possible to teach kids to like adult food. I’ve seen it done. It just takes some persistent action by adults who care about kids’ health and want to make a difference. The best way I can think of for you to get kids interested in real food — the fruit, vegetable, meat, and dairy foods that you buy along the peripheral aisles of supermarkets — is to teach them how to cook such foods. Even better, teach them how to grow vegetables; radishes growing in a pot on a windowsill can change a child’s relationship with food forever, and much for the better.
Hear! Hear!
Here Here!
Love the Mollie Katzen kids cooking books (Salad People, Pretend Soup). Our 3 year old is definitely more inclined (although not always) to eat the things he’s prepared.
Some of this is also a question of perseverence. Isn’t the stat something like – a child needs to be presented a new food 8-10 times before they’ll actually try/like it?
I read this same story on the Expat’s blog, but you compelled me more to comment than she did.
Your daughter is 5 right? So even if she’s handed a kid’s menu she can’t read what’s on there to know what she could have unless you read it to her. Right? So don’t.
When we are at a restaurant we tell the server “No kid’s menu please” and we can more easily avoid confrontations. But sometimes they get one anyway (which affects your tip servers) and they ask for something off the menu we will usually say no. It works fine. Stay tough. You can do it. After one or two times of being escorted out of the restaurant after throwing a fit it won’t happen anymore.
You aren’t a victim of what these places choose to offer. You are the customer. You can do what you want. If they have a problem with it leave. Just make sure to reward them for the extra effort of serving you.
I especially hate it when people go to a Chinese, Mexican, etc type of place and then don’t offer their kids that type of food. It’s awful? Why go there if they don’t get to experience different food cultures? When we go to our Chinese place my kids eat the same dish I do; Hot Braised Pork. Which is very spicy. My wife can’t eat it but a 5 and 3 year old can? It’s because they like it and were given a chance to try it from my plate. If they decide not to go with this dish it’s usually chicken w/veggies or fried rice. Same when we go for Mexican. They eat so much salsa that we have to cut them off because they will eat it until their tongues are all swollen up from the spices.
My point is that kids will eat what they want to eat and if given the chance they will like stuff that we as parents would never think they would like. I think most parents are afraid to let them try things.
Sorry for the long comment.
I’m with Matt. I think many parents completely lose their mind when they go into a restaurant and act like they are on autopilot; they just order the kid’s meal as if it is mandatory, even when they know better (the same is true for accepting fries with their own meal instead of asking for a more nutritious side salad or vegetable substitute). And if suitable beverages aren’t offered for children, water is a good substitute for sugary juice *and* soda and is free (also less likely to be sucked down so fast that there is no room for the meal).
Some parents are swayed by the low price of a Kid’s Meal “deal”. I have found that a glass of milk, a chicken breast, and a side dish of steamed broccoli (or similar items) can be about the same cost as a kid’s deal. But even if it costs more, so what? If one can’t afford the cost of eating real food while dining out, then it’s time to stop dining out and get back in the kitchen or pack a cooler if traveling.
The last time I was at a fast food joint with my 8 yo son (a rare occasion) he asked for the same thing that I ordered, a low carb big burger (minus the bun & wrapped in lettuce .. weat eat it with fork & knife). I was thrilled! Turns out he likes the crunchy iceberg lettuce (that I never buy for home meals because it is basically nothing but water and cell walls) even more than fries. I’ll settle for that. Even at fast food joints we always order either milk or water to drink, too.
It does take some persistence, but it pays off an dis no longer an issue (or rarely). And it isn’t nearly as hard as people seem to think it is, if consistently reinforced. Parents just have to remember what their role is … caregivers, teachers, & mentors of future autonomous adults, not pals or best friends.
Long comments always welcome, and you’re absolutely right, Matt. Until very recently, she hasn’t been able to read things like “Kid’s Menu” and “French Fries,” and I have tried not to give her the chance to even realize they’re options. This is confounded when we go out with others, like relatives, well-meaning friends… but when they start reading the kids’ menu options out loud, I’ll try to (unobnoxiously) read the other options, as well (”They also have soup!” “They have a broccoli dish today…”).
I have a friend who recently went to Disneyworld – they bought a meal plan, including one for their son, not realizing that the kids’ meal plan was actually for different foods, all of it low-nutrition, palate-destroying stuff (chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, microwaved mac and cheese). They were totally annoyed.
It does make me crazy, this whole notion that kids should somehow be eating different things from adults. She looks at other kids in the classroom who bring in their Lunchables and chicken nuggets, and then looks at her own (lovingly prepared! carefully selected!) lunches, and feels like she’s being left out of some important part of Kid Culture.
I could go on. No doubt I will. I feel another post coming on…
Our kids like a wide variety of foods. We don’t prepare “kids meals” at home – they eat what we eat. We were vegetarians for years and cook primarily vegetarian at home. They are pretty adventurous eaters. When we go out, however, I do go with the kids’ menu when there is one, not because I am on autopilot or because I don’t think my kids will like other things – I do it because of the sheer size of portions these days. Not everything is good the next day and can be taken home and I hate wasting huge amounts of food. So, we get a smaller meal for the kids from the kid menu(who like very different things so sharing a meal isn’t always an option. Just another way to look at it.
I don’t have to worry about my toddler reading the menu yet. But I never require a kids’ menu. You get so much food at a restaurant for a single portion that I can easily order a healthy meal we both like and feed her and I both from it. She loves to eat off my plate, anyway. So, my advice? Just order your kid the extra plate to split your meal with. Forget the kiddie menu or just tell them up front not to bring it.
For the lunch thing? How about taking cookie cutters and making fun cheese and meat shapes with wholegrain crackers? Healthy lunchables that are way more cool-looking. Fruit, what could be better than that? They also make healthier versions of nuggets, but they are costly. And, maybe she’ll feel left out now, but someday she will thank you.
We had that same problem at Disney! Happily, our kids were almost as annoyed as we were – they’re living proof that kids can enjoy eating everything at all. Drinks aside, we’ve never served them anything different from what we serve ourselves and they rarely reject what’s before them. The funny thing is when their friends come over – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen shock on another parent’s face when they hear that THEIR kid ATE CARROTS. What did I do to cause such an astonishing thing to happen? I put a dish of cut vegetables down before hungry kids. Magic, for sure.
Amen Sister!
I am always amazed when people we are with offer their kids the Chicky-finger n’fries options at “ethnic” restaurants. And the ones we go to are usually family run, so I end up feeling like we’ve insulted the food of their ethnic origin. Nothin’ like the look on the server’s face when the kid orders schlock.
Of course my kid is only 4 and doesn’t really read yet, so he’s still at our mercy. Still, I hope that we will have set a precedent by the time he can read the menu so it isn’t a battle. That’s not why we go out to dinner!
I love this blog.
P.S. We tried the Kale chips yesterday and Kelly and I loved them, but the young one was unimpressed. I do think they would be better with purple kale. On the other hand, he ate his body weight in Sugar Snap peas he helped pick, so I can’t complain.
i’m with the previous commenters- when we eat out we just let pnut eat off our plates- big portions, she’s still small, and she eats what we eat at home. i know it can be tough with older kids, though, and especially after they have been influenced by their peers at school.
we started our CSA yesterday! wow! i’m still excited but a little overwhelmed by all the greens- must scour the archives for your recipes. spinach, anyone? turnips? so tasty. also- i can’t believe i outed myself way back there with my comment about organic= gross to so many. thanks for the added info for our side of the issue- i’m still surprised that people would think that organic= unhygenic or something. also. i found what i think is a close match to my mom’s rhubarb- didn’t realize it was called compote! i’m going to try it tomorrow.
pnuts mama,
We do a CSA subscription, too, and the copious greens were a learning curve for me. What saved me was a book from the Madison WI area CSA, From Asparagus to Zucchini. I use that cookbook for vegetable storage, prep, and cooking ideas more than any other book on my shelf, several times a week. I use the Cream of Whatever Greens soup recipe as a starting point; and it is a great way to get greens into my reluctant son (hurray for handheld immersion blenders!). Frittatas are another good way. Both recipes are so adaptable.
Thanks for the heads up on this article I may have missed. I responded over on my blog too.
Could I hug you? You are so right on target. At home, we feed the kids what we’re eating—even if they hate the main dish, there is usually something else they can find that is ok—if not, they can have a banana or apple and go to bed. They will not starve during the overnight.
And, we are no saints when it comes to eating out—if we need to, we run through Burger King and I let the kids eat fries. But, that is not something that happens all the time. On the rare times we go out to eat, I also let them get fries at restaurants, but I SOOOO wish the main dish could be something other than hot dogs or chicken fingers! Ugh. We’ve gone to the 99 (an East Coast Restaurant) and at least they have things like chicken teryaki on the kids menu, although I honestly don’t know how healthy that is. I wish restaurants would start offering ALL menu items in kid-size portions as an option and do away with the ‘kids menu’ entirely.
BTW, we were shocked when our girls (4 & 6) started BEGGING for sushi—they had tried the veggie kind with us and, now, it is one of their favorite things to eat (they only eat the veggie kind which makes me laugh b/c my oldest insists she hates avocado). And, your salsa mention made me laugh b/c my 2, 4 & 6 year old will get their hands covered in it trying to eat every last drop with chip crumbs.
Greens are great given a quick saute with olive oil, honey and some garlic and spice. I put in some other stuff like bok choy or broccoli to give it some texture. Lovely. And so good for you.
Greens also go great as a savory tart or in pasta dishes. My kiddo plowed through four huge servings of chard this way. Endless possibilities. Good luck! We have a ton of greens in our CSA bag plus my market trip. I’m cooking them as fast as I can!
this is why i love you all so much- yes i am debating another pasta/green stirfry this evening or pasta salad. we had a tremendous spinach salad last night that was delicious (i know, the bacon not so healthy but we justified by claiming it as protein) and we are so happy with the quality and quantity of everything.
i am going to have to look into that CSA recipe book. our csa sends recipes along every week but i need to do a better job of knowing what stuff is before i commit to cooking it! thanks again!
That linked article about the fat in kids meals scared the crap out of me. I’m cringing thinking about my son enjoying grilled cheese at Friendly’s today as a special treat (my grandmother’s birthday lunch out). He eats great at home, but apparently we need to throw out the eating out kids’ menus and make him eat real food with us.
There is far too much focus on the fat in kids meals. Ok, the trans fats is probably a good thing to eliminate, but kids need “real”, unprocessed fat for energy, proper cell development, neural development, and more. The schools and restaurants are cutting the fat from the lunch programs and menus, banning whole milk but they are offering on a daily basis consume low fat sugary chocolate milk, sugary fruit juices, sugary yogurt, syrupy diced fruit cups, fruit candy, take-out pizza, white bread & tortillas, processed cheese products, corn chips, etc.
We’ve got to get over this fear of fat and realize it is the factory made, processed food made from excessive heavily subsidized commodities (soy, corn, & wheat with a little bit of meat waste) that is not good for growing bodies (any body, actually). I’ll let my kid eat a school lunch when they serve real food that is actually cooked properly in a kitchen instead of micro heat & serve junk food shipped in frozen from a factory-filled box. I live for the day when the school lunch or children’s menu offers a real roast chicken drumstick with sweet potato fries and steamed green beans topped with real butter, instead of chicken nuggets (even if it is made from all breast meat it is still waste meat bits stuck together with food glue in a factory) with a hermetically sealed pineapple cup on the side.
In the UK, where they take children’s welfare seriously by prohibiting ads for products not deemed healthy for kids (no sugary cereal ads, etc.) during children’s TV programming, they have gone completely overboard with deaf of fat. They are even lumping in ads for foods like whole milk and cheese with junk food ads because of the high fat content. Amazing. So a lovely Cheddar, Stilton, butter, or clotted cream can’t be advertised during a kids’ program, but corn flakes can? The world is going mad! Probably from a brain-fat deficit. The neurons are mis-firing without enough myelin sheathing.
Yay, fat!! Why can’t everyone figure out that whole foods in reasonable, responsible portions are the best for us and best for the planet?? I’m glad to know there are a few out there who don’t think (whole, real food) fat is the enemy.
I just found your blog, I love love LOVE it!
We have always fed our kids real food, both had sushi (eel and avocado rolls) before they were a year. They love Indian food, we have gone so much (once every couple of weeks) that the waiters actually pick my daughter up and take her to ‘her’ table.
And there ARE places with good kids menus. Steak (grilled sirloin tips), burgers without the bun, grilled chicken, all with a side of veggies or a baked sweet potato.
It helps that we are Food Dye, Dairy, Soy, Wheat, and Egg free. When people exclaim “My G—, what do you feed them?!!!” I take great pleasure in saying that we don’t look at it as restrictive, we look at it as freeing us from the mass produced agro-crap that forms the basis of most of the American diet.
I do tend to word that a bit more gently, usually.
-A