Guar gum explained in nine haiku

You sound ugly. Like
Drool from a large, hairy beast,
Snorting as he walks.

In fact, you’re a seed;
Ground endosperm (I’m blushing…)
Tasteless. Bland. No smell.

Gelatinous goop,
Eight times thicker than corn starch
You bind. Make things gel.

But for your presence,
Ice cream would be crystalline;
Hot dogs would crumble.

You thrive with monsoons;
India and Pakistan
Both export you with pride.

(They may not agree
On Kashmir; They can on this:
You’re MONEY, baby.)

Wish Newton saw this:
You’re no harder to swim in
Than plain old water.

Natural. Vegan.
A sign of processing? Yep!
But harmful? Guess not.

No studies imply
That you’re unsafe as used. Phew.
One less food to fear.

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6 Responses to “Guar gum explained in nine haiku”


  1. 1 Loving Annie February 22, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    Good Thursday morning, Cleaner Plate.
    How are yu doing today ?
    I am enjoying reading your blog, and the posts are interesting. Nice haiku on the guar gum ! And the cantaloupe… and the peanut butter… And…
    But i am curious. You get a lot of feedback from people, yet you don’t ever answer them here, or have them on your blogroll. How come ?
    I’d love to visit you and comment regularly, but I like getting comments on my blog as well. Then it feels like a healthy give-and-take…

  2. 3 Jenn February 22, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Guar gum haiku, ah
    My heavy heart is lifted!
    Guar gum! My comrade!

  3. 4 Kristin February 23, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    I love Haiku’s and I have been afraid of guar gum! but no more. great site.

  4. 5 wifemothermaniac February 24, 2007 at 8:10 am

    I always wondered what the hell Guar gum was, loved being amused and educated on this mysterious ingredient.

    Alas, kale chips did not work for us…too bad, it’s rampant in my garden.

  5. 6 Daphne February 7, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    Just found your site and love it. You are my hero. Your writing is terrific, and your topics are close to my heart. (It’s not pretty, but I even wax poetic, at time–http://www.greenerbiener.com/2009/10/quoth-the-husband-nevermore/)


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